Anonymous Quotes & Wallpapers


Total Quotes: 4164


When the problem is not so much resisting temptation as finding it, you may just be getting older. Anonymous

Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes. Anonymous

If drinking is interfering with your work, you're probably a heavy drinker. If work is interfering with your drinking, you're probably an alcoholic. Anonymous

Everybody should believe in something; I believe I'll have another drink. Anonymous

If you wish to keep your affairs secret, drink no wine. Anonymous

If you get upset when the toast burns, what are you going to do when your house burns down? Anonymous

If the sky falls, hold up your hands. Anonymous

Wag more. Bark less. Anonymous

A birth control pill for men, that's fair. It makes more sense to take the bullets out of the gun than to wear a bulletproof vest. Anonymous

A dirty book is rarely dusty. Anonymous

A brother shares childhood memories and grown-up dreams. Anonymous

I sought my soul, but my soul I could not see. I sought my God, but my God eluded me. I sought my brother and I found all three. Anonymous

A consultant is a man sent in after the battle to bayonet the wounded. Anonymous

Campers: Nature's way of feeding mosquitoes. Anonymous

No heaven will not ever Heaven be Unless my cats are there to welcome me. Anonymous

Every dog has his day - but the nights are reserved for the cats. Anonymous

A good cheerleader is not measured by the height of her jumps but by the span of her spirit. Anonymous

Caffeine isn't a drug, it's a vitamin! Anonymous

Forever: Time it takes to brew the first pot of coffee in the morning. Anonymous

Coffee, n. break fluid. Anonymous

If it ain't caffeinated, it ain't coffee! Anonymous

All the coffee in Columbia won't make me a morning person. Anonymous

if(pot.coffee=EMPTY) {programmer->;brain=OFF}; Anonymous

I have a degree in liberal arts. Do you want fries with that? Anonymous

Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse? Anonymous

Don't anthropomorphize computers - they hate it. Anonymous

Microsoft, where quality is job 1.1. Anonymous

What boots up must come down. Anonymous

That I could clamber to the frozen moon And draw the ladder after me. Anonymous

A daughter is the happy memories of the past, the joyful moments of the present, and the hope and promise of the future. Anonymous

When one bases his life on principle, 99 percent of his decisions are already made. Anonymous

I've been to the dentist several times so I know the drill. Anonymous

There are four basic food groups: milk chocolate, dark chocolate, white chocolate, and chocolate truffles. Anonymous

If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly. Anonymous

Man cannot live on chocolate alone, but woman sure can. Anonymous

There's nothing wrong with me a little ice cream won't fix. Anonymous

Your stomach shouldn't be a waist basket. Anonymous

I'm on a 90-day wonder diet. Thus far, I've lost 45 days. Anonymous

Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere! Anonymous

I shouldn't have driven home from the bar last night - especially since I walked there. Anonymous

I don't like people who take drugs. Customs agents, for example. Anonymous

How can the spirit of the earth like the white man?... Everywhere the white man has touched it, it is sore. Anonymous

Experience is what you got by not having it when you need it. Anonymous

Fear: False Evidence Appearing Real. Anonymous

What you call a hero, I call just doing my job. Anonymous

Gone fishin', be back at dark-thirty! Anonymous

Gardening is a matter of your enthusiasm holding up until your back gets used to it. Anonymous

God's last name is not Dammit. Anonymous

You found God? If nobody claims him in thirty days, he's yours! Anonymous

Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle. Anonymous

Gray hair is a blessing - ask any bald man. Anonymous

Hate is misguided love. Anonymous

Truth fears no questions. Anonymous

Always tell the truth. If you can't always tell the truth, don't lie. Anonymous

A woman needs two animals - the horse of her dreams and a jackass to pay for it. Anonymous

When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time. Anonymous

A hug is the shortest distance between friends. Anonymous

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. Anonymous

Two things are infinite, as far as we know - the universe and human stupidity. Anonymous

Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you - not because they are nice, but because you are. Anonymous

A fellow who does things that count, doesn't usually stop to count them. Anonymous

Don't wait for people to be friendly, show them how. Anonymous

A kiss is just a pleasant reminder that two heads are better than one. Anonymous

Kiss.... Not enough for one, just enough for two, and too much for three. Anonymous

Her kisses left something to be desired... the rest of her. Anonymous

Laughter is an orgasm triggered by the intercourse of sense and nonsense. Anonymous

What a wonderful thing is the mail, capable of conveying across continents a warm human hand-clasp. Anonymous

The human mind has never invented a labor-saving machine equal to algebra. Anonymous

There was a young man from Trinity, Who solved the square root of infinity. While counting the digits, He was seized by the fidgets, Dropped science, and took up divinity. Anonymous

Physicians and politicians resemble one another in this respect, that some defend the constitution and others destroy it. Anonymous



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