Anonymous Quotes & Wallpapers


Total Quotes: 4164


Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes. Anonymous
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If drinking is interfering with your work, you're probably a heavy drinker. If work is interfering with your drinking, you're probably an alcoholic. Anonymous
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Everybody should believe in something; I believe I'll have another drink. Anonymous
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If you wish to keep your affairs secret, drink no wine. Anonymous
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If you get upset when the toast burns, what are you going to do when your house burns down? Anonymous
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If the sky falls, hold up your hands. Anonymous
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Wag more. Bark less. Anonymous
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A birth control pill for men, that's fair. It makes more sense to take the bullets out of the gun than to wear a bulletproof vest. Anonymous
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A dirty book is rarely dusty. Anonymous
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A brother shares childhood memories and grown-up dreams. Anonymous
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I sought my soul, but my soul I could not see. I sought my God, but my God eluded me. I sought my brother and I found all three. Anonymous
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A consultant is a man sent in after the battle to bayonet the wounded. Anonymous
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Campers: Nature's way of feeding mosquitoes. Anonymous
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No heaven will not ever Heaven be Unless my cats are there to welcome me. Anonymous
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Every dog has his day - but the nights are reserved for the cats. Anonymous
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A good cheerleader is not measured by the height of her jumps but by the span of her spirit. Anonymous
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Caffeine isn't a drug, it's a vitamin! Anonymous
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Forever: Time it takes to brew the first pot of coffee in the morning. Anonymous
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Coffee, n. break fluid. Anonymous
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If it ain't caffeinated, it ain't coffee! Anonymous
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All the coffee in Columbia won't make me a morning person. Anonymous
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if(pot.coffee=EMPTY) {programmer->;brain=OFF}; Anonymous
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I have a degree in liberal arts. Do you want fries with that? Anonymous
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Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse? Anonymous
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Don't anthropomorphize computers - they hate it. Anonymous
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Microsoft, where quality is job 1.1. Anonymous
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What boots up must come down. Anonymous
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That I could clamber to the frozen moon And draw the ladder after me. Anonymous
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A daughter is the happy memories of the past, the joyful moments of the present, and the hope and promise of the future. Anonymous
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When one bases his life on principle, 99 percent of his decisions are already made. Anonymous
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I've been to the dentist several times so I know the drill. Anonymous
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There are four basic food groups: milk chocolate, dark chocolate, white chocolate, and chocolate truffles. Anonymous
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If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly. Anonymous
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Man cannot live on chocolate alone, but woman sure can. Anonymous
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There's nothing wrong with me a little ice cream won't fix. Anonymous
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Your stomach shouldn't be a waist basket. Anonymous
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I'm on a 90-day wonder diet. Thus far, I've lost 45 days. Anonymous
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Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere! Anonymous
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I shouldn't have driven home from the bar last night - especially since I walked there. Anonymous
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I don't like people who take drugs. Customs agents, for example. Anonymous
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How can the spirit of the earth like the white man?... Everywhere the white man has touched it, it is sore. Anonymous
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Experience is what you got by not having it when you need it. Anonymous
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Fear: False Evidence Appearing Real. Anonymous
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What you call a hero, I call just doing my job. Anonymous
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Gone fishin', be back at dark-thirty! Anonymous
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Gardening is a matter of your enthusiasm holding up until your back gets used to it. Anonymous
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God's last name is not Dammit. Anonymous
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You found God? If nobody claims him in thirty days, he's yours! Anonymous
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Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle. Anonymous
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Gray hair is a blessing - ask any bald man. Anonymous
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Hate is misguided love. Anonymous
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Truth fears no questions. Anonymous
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Always tell the truth. If you can't always tell the truth, don't lie. Anonymous
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A woman needs two animals - the horse of her dreams and a jackass to pay for it. Anonymous
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When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time. Anonymous
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A hug is the shortest distance between friends. Anonymous
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I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. Anonymous
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Two things are infinite, as far as we know - the universe and human stupidity. Anonymous
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Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you - not because they are nice, but because you are. Anonymous
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A fellow who does things that count, doesn't usually stop to count them. Anonymous
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Don't wait for people to be friendly, show them how. Anonymous
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A kiss is just a pleasant reminder that two heads are better than one. Anonymous
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Kiss.... Not enough for one, just enough for two, and too much for three. Anonymous
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Her kisses left something to be desired... the rest of her. Anonymous
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Laughter is an orgasm triggered by the intercourse of sense and nonsense. Anonymous
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What a wonderful thing is the mail, capable of conveying across continents a warm human hand-clasp. Anonymous
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The human mind has never invented a labor-saving machine equal to algebra. Anonymous
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There was a young man from Trinity, Who solved the square root of infinity. While counting the digits, He was seized by the fidgets, Dropped science, and took up divinity. Anonymous
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Physicians and politicians resemble one another in this respect, that some defend the constitution and others destroy it. Anonymous
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Asthma is a disease that has practically the same symptoms as passion except that with asthma it lasts longer. Anonymous
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