Anonymous Quotes & Wallpapers


Total Quotes: 4164


If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. Anonymous
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People who snore always fall asleep first. Anonymous
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No one is listening until you fart. Anonymous
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Hugs grease the wheels of the world. Anonymous
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I am not a human being; I am a human becoming. Anonymous
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It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. Anonymous
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And on the eighth day God said, Okay, Murphy, you're in charge! Anonymous
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The chicken came first - God would look silly sitting on an egg. Anonymous
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The Internet is full. Go away. Anonymous
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October's child is born for woe, And life's vicissitudes must know; But lay an Opal on her breast, And hope will lull those woes to rest. Anonymous
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Kind people are the best kind of people. Anonymous
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English is a funny language; that explains why we park our car on the driveway and drive our car on the parkway. Anonymous
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Conversation is the slowest form of human communication. Anonymous
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The stars are the street lights of eternity. Anonymous
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Trigonometry is a sine of the times. Anonymous
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If you saw a man drowning and you could either save him or photograph the event... what kind of film would you use? Anonymous
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When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute. Anonymous
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Did you hear about the baby born with organs of both sexes? It had a penis and a brain. Anonymous
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Just because you make mistakes doesn't mean you are one. Anonymous
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Bikes don't leak oil, they mark their territory. Anonymous
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Safety is a cheap and effective insurance policy. Anonymous
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Two-lane blacktop isn't a highway - it's an attitude. Anonymous
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Play the music, not the instrument. Anonymous
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Words have meaning and names have power. Anonymous
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The human spirit needs places where nature has not been rearranged by the hand of man. Anonymous
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A quilt will warm your body and comfort your soul. Anonymous
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I got a sewing machine for my husband! Good trade, huh? Anonymous
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I'm itching to be stitching! Anonymous
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I love sewing and have plenty of material witnesses. Anonymous
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In the crazy quilt of life, I'm glad you're in my block of friends. Anonymous
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Quilters know all the angles. Anonymous
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If love can't cure it, nurses can. Anonymous
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I love to play hide and seek with my kid, but some days my goal is to find a hiding place where he can't find me until after high school. Anonymous
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Philosophy is nothing but common sense in a dress suit. Anonymous
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One photo out of focus is a mistake, ten photo out of focus are an experimentation, one hundred photo out of focus are a style. Anonymous
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If the author had said Let us put on appropriate galoshes, there could, of course, have been no poem. Anonymous
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Midwives have skilled hands and know how to sit on them. Anonymous
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If it weren't for the last minute, I wouldn't get anything done. Anonymous
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The best way to get something done is to begin. Anonymous
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You know you are getting old when it takes too much effort to procrastinate. Anonymous
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A pun is a short quip followed by a long groan. Anonymous
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What happens to the wide-eyed observer when the window between reality and unreality breaks and the glass begins to fly? Anonymous
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Religion is a pill best swallowed without chewing. Anonymous
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Adam blamed Eve, Eve blamed the serpent and the serpent didn't have a leg to stand on. Anonymous
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God is innocent. Noah built in a flood plain. Anonymous
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The Virgin Mary was an unwed teenage mother. Anonymous
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Of all the people I have ever known, those who have pursued their dreams and failed have lived a much more fulfilling life than those who have put their dreams on a shelf for fear of failure. Anonymous
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It's better to crash into a nap than to nap into a crash. Anonymous
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Luck runs out but safety is good for life. Anonymous
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Don't learn safety by accident. Anonymous
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If you don't think it's safe, it probably isn't. Anonymous
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Safety isn't just a slogan, it's a way of life. Anonymous
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I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it. Anonymous
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If you don't get lost, there's a chance you may never be found. Anonymous
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Respecting yourself means listening to your body and emotions continuously. Then acting beyond a linear logic to achieve ones goals. Anonymous
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I think I could fall madly in bed with you. Anonymous
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A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face and the egg is frowning and looking put out. The egg mutters to no one in particular, I guess we answered that question. Anonymous
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In a world where we are all slaves to the laws of gravity, skydivers are proud to be freedom fighters! Anonymous
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You know you're a skydiver when you'll wake up at 6:30 am on the weekends to get to the drop zone, but you can't seem to get up by 7:30 on the weekdays to be at work by 8:00. Anonymous
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If you marry a skier, marry tall - they walk with their knees bent ten months out of the year. Anonymous
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If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country. Anonymous
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Smiling is infectious, You can catch it like the flu. Someone smiled at me today, And I started smiling too. Anonymous
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Whenever the ball flew toward our goal and a score seemed inevitable, Jesus reached his foot out and cleared the ball. Anonymous
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Blessed is the person who is too busy to worry in the daytime and too sleepy to worry at night. Anonymous
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For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe. Anonymous
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Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference. Anonymous
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His speeches to an hour-glass Do some resemblance show Because the longer time they run The shallower they grow. Anonymous
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Pain is nothing compared to what it feels like to quit. Anonymous
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It is not how big you are, it's how big you play. Anonymous
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Chlorine is my perfume. Anonymous
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